The Plot Thickens

Tomorrow is our allotment society spring meeting and we’re going to have a topping out ceremony for my new shed with tea and cake. I’ve never seen a topping out ceremony before so I thought I’d just make it up as I went along. Anywho, I’ve composed this poem for the event.

On the topping-out of a pallet shed on the Wash Common allotment

Shed: May your hearth be ever stacked with sticks
for your pot bellied stove, with a hot kettle
for tea. May mice not find the PG Tips,
nor rats discover Hob Nobs in their metal
tin. Even when the rain is beating hard
inside you’ll be bone dry, and though you’re built
from pallets that the wasteful just discard
your siding shall not split, nor will you tilt.
But what if I’d have gone to B&Q?
A golden pine pavilion would adorn
my plot. No hearth, no chimney pot, no flue,
no soul. You’re great, by oak, pine, thorn and yew:
this wood has found a home. So let’s adjourn
for cake, and toast this shed with a fresh brew.